Another Email I just had to share!
A Brand new edition of...
'You know you're a redneck when......?
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think 'The Nutcracker' is a vice on the work bench.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean ?
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal*Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
And Finally ....
10 comments:
Blah, ha, ha, ha...Funny girl!
I do #13!!
Too funny. Especially for this old Tennessee transplant;)
I think I bought a #28 specifically for that purpose!
Growing up, I used to look at these studly guys driving in their 4x4's with huge tires and mud all over the truck, BUT with curtains in the windows. It looked so stupid!
Numbers 26 (more than once) & 16 (2 in the trunk & 1 in the back seat) describe me, and 15 describes my hubby! Also does #6 count if it was the Goodwill that didn't want my furniture? :-)Would you believe that I live in San Francisco?
St. Vincent De Paul wouldn't take our couch. Boy their getting fussy. What's a little stuffing among friend.
My van holds fewer hale bales than a truck.
I had a nice combination of laughing and grossing out. Thanks for that! :)
That man looks like he's due any day now. Hahaha!
I wonder if those overalls would work for the female rednecks as well!?!
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