Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Recession hits Everybody.....


I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
(email from Cheryl)

Here's to a turn around year.
Make a difference 2011!

I promise to do my part!

12 royal remarks:

Busy Bee Suz said...

That is hillarious!!!
I also hope 2011 is better. Cheers!

Mental P Mama said...

LOL...Love your face in lights!!!

The Incredible Woody said...

Here's to a BIG year!!

Noelle said...

I like your page! It's pretty!

Ellen said...

Great post - gave me a good chuckle.

Happy New Year.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

You look good all lit up!

Audrey said...

Noe Noe, I love the pic of you and as usual, your post cracked me up! I particularly liked the Angelina Jolie hit! Love and hugs to you and your family, my lovely friend.
xoxoxo

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

Funny!!! A good laugh was needed today! Thanks for visiting me.

jennifer said...

You are somethin' else Noe Noe Girl. I love the photo!

Flea said...

Bwahahahaha! Love the photo!

Life with Kaishon said...

That is so good. Oh my word. Laughing and laughing and laughing.

Christina said...

Now that was too funny. I love the last one.